Everyone has times of uncertainty, moment’s of weakness, fear, anxiety and separation. I refer to this as falling off the spiritual bandwagon. If you practice any form of spirituality or school of thought related to Universal Laws, the Bible, Mindfulness, etc. then you will hopefully appreciate where I am going with this.
When you are in a state of grace, gratitude, appreciation, love, calm and assertiveness, nothing can go wrong. At least for me, this is my experience and usually life is just abundantly awesome when I reside in this space. Even in the worst of times, if your practice and faith remain strong then you are able to ride the wave of chaos with grace.
At this moment, I am in a position of strength, creativity, wholeness and love. However, the last couple of weeks I fell off the spiritual bandwagon with valid reasons for doing so. The primary reason I contribute to this falling is caffeine. Yes, caffeine. I started drinking coffee again – probably two months deep. This last fall from grace and the lessons learned from it are a direct result of my medicating myself with caffeine. When I am “on caffeine,” it is more difficult for me to meditate, to be mindful, to be present, all things needed to connect with the Divine, my soul, the oneness that we all are and God – for when we meditate we can hear our next steps.
On caffeine, I become another person. I operate from my ego when I use caffeine – An ego that is impatient, fearful, second guesses, looks for the worse case scenario and so on. This of course makes me exhausted because I am spending extra energy on keeping the fear based stories alive. Combined with the energy expense that caffeine causes to begin with, it left me utterly disjointed and disconnected from my source. I don’t like that space. It hurts and causes suffering. I don’t like to suffer. I am one to help alleviate and remove suffering – pain will always exist, but it isn’t necessary to suffer.
Are you thinking – caffeine? Really Pamela? Caffeine? YES! It is a mind and soul altering drug. I experienced withdrawals even. I heard once before that caffeine is like a credit card. What you take out you are going to have to payback eventually and with interest. Every time I stopped drinking coffee I experienced headaches that lasted for days, I wanted to sleep all the time and would most likely be in a lousy mood. Apparently, I didn’t learn my lessons previously from using caffeine. The lessons of short temperedness, irritability, exhaustion, lack of creativity, and over all sense of “meh.”
I’ve been here before and I completed the ugly withdrawal cycle the end of last week. I had fallen off the spiritual bandwagon which always leads me to feeling fear and getting caught up in my stories of worst case scenarios. It is so simple, yet every time I think, “well, I’ll just have the one cup of coffee.” Which always leads to my daily consumption of caffeine which translates into a daily consumption of fear, anxiety, exhaustion and so on. It’s just not worth it anymore to me.
My addiction to caffeine causes such distress. I profess we are what we consume. This for me – continually confirms it. I inevitable experience the same pattern over and over again when I drink caffeinated coffee. This pattern of a caffenated ego driven lifestyle weakens my defenses and strips me of my personal power. It leaves me feeling, dare I say it, entitled – almost frantic in a “what about me” mode where I end of believing that life is treating me unfairly.
I am happy to share that I am off the caffeine, back on my spiritual journey, where my soul is leading the way and I am once again asking how am I treating life, vs. how is life treating me.
What distractions are you using that strips your power, causes you to disconnect from your higher power and causes suffering. Are you using coffee to medicate your senses and remove you from pain? Have you given any thought to how you feel when you are high on caffeine and how you feel if you stop drinking it for any length of time? Do you need it to start your day – to keep you going?
Have you been trying to simplify your life, connect in mindful ways and improve your over all quality of life without success? If so, you might begin with eliminating caffeine from your diet as an excellent starting point. It won’t be easy. You will have withdrawal symptoms and I suggest creating a plan should you decide to remove caffeine from your life, such as, half caf/half decaf for a couple of weeks. You will need to be supported and understood. It can leave you feeling completely lost and you may not recognize yourself at the end of the “exorcism.”
You will be left however, with a peaceful heart and mind. You will be left with absolutely stunning clarity and a strength that you didn’t know you had. Incredible, really. You will begin to take on new perspectives and responsibilities including “Ask not how life is treating you, but how are you treating life?” The ripple effect of not drinking caffeine will cause positive results spiritually, personally, professionally and in your physical health that is nothing short of amazing.
Let me know your thoughts and please circle back if you plan on discontinuing the use of caffeine to tell me what you noticed about you and your life that is for the better.