Two Choices

I was in the bank drive thru, at lunch time, today.  I felt lucky because no one was in line before me and I knew I would be in and out.  I turned my car off and took my sun glasses off, like I normally do, simply to be polite.

The teller and I greeted one another, he took my information and he said that he would “be right back.”  I was waiting for less than 30 seconds, when a woman pulled in back of me. No big deal, right?  Maybe another minute went by, when the woman revved her engine, put her car in reverse, and made her tires squeal as she drove up along side of me yelling expletive language.

I was appalled by her impatience and anger. During this scenario, the teller came back and witnessed her behavior also.  We looked at each other and couldn’t help, but laugh, quite frankly, at the reaction.  I said, “WOW, that is one angry lady and she is heading into your facility.  Take a deep breath and smile when she comes in. Good luck” and off I went.

I am grateful that I view everything in life with the power of knowing that I have two choices in how I respond to any given situation.  I have always been the glass is half full kind of gal anyways but, there was a section of time, where I entertained and wore the “why me” sign around my neck proudly.  Wearing my sign may have been inconsistent, but it did last a couple of years, a decade or so ago.  It was also at that time, that I started to confirm the direct connection between the results of my interactions, my attitude and personal accountability.  It was when the lightbulb went off and things became much easier and crystal clear.

That was the turning point for me.  I witnessed the power of my intentions; the power of choosing the attitude of “if its not fatal, I’m doing alright.”  Extreme…maybe. You see, I grew up knowing what death was.  At the age of five, my brother was killed in a car accident when he was only eighteen.  My biological father passed away when I was eight and three of my grandparents all passed before I turned twelve.  So when I say, “if it isn’t fatal, then we are doing alright.”  I mean just that.  My other favorite saying that I used as a catalyst was “act as if.”  Those three words are so powerful, you have no idea….yet!  Maybe you do and I am preaching to the choir.

Here is an example of what I am trying to convey.  Some people grudgingly wake up to their alarm each day.  They wake up with a feeling of ground hog day.  One can continue on the theme of grudgingly completing tasks during their day, adding insult to injury with negative self talk OR one can think of the smallest positive thought to spin them out of the negative vibe they started their morning with.  No matter what type of thought one presents, negative or positive, it begins a chain.  A foundation for more of the same to follow.

Before you nickname me Pollyanna, think of it this way.  When you are hungry, you have two choices, right?  You can choose to eat so you do not feel hunger or you can choose to wait to the point of wanting to gnaw your arm off.  If you choose to take care of your need right away then you feel satisfied until it is time for you to eat again.  If you choose to wait, you may experience a headache.  If you wait long enough it will soon be the only thing you think about. If you wait past a certain point you may actually feel nausea.

My life became easier when I started to choose on a consistent basis the positive side of a situation.  I felt the ease when putting a positive spin on something brought me and I liked it.  Everything began to change.  My points of view and reactions to situations were for the better.  The feel good results would continue to build upon one another.  Honestly, it wasn’t easy at first.  I had to work at choosing good thoughts, go figure!

Eventually though and with the help of amazing results, the work became fun and exciting.  I began to test myself to see how fast I could get out of my funk or bad mood.  I encourage you to look inside to the real YOU.  I’d like to believe that we weren’t born to feel angst, anger, stress and unhappiness.  My hope is that your life will become easier when you decide to take your power back and choose between the two choices you have each day, each moment.

One last example.  There was someone in my life currently who, well, let’s just say we didn’t see eye to eye.  My dilemma…I had to interact with her.  My choices did not include: “do I interact or do I not interact with her?”  My choices rested in the fact that I can choose to be sour, upset, complain, list and remember the reasons why I do NOT want to interact with her or accept it and find the silver lining.  For a while there, I would get on my soap box and complain.  I would mutter under my breath and just feel miserable.  What happened was whenever we had a meeting, a call, an email etc, I noticed that my whole day was spent giving energy toward her.

I was drained and unable to be present for my family in a manner that they deserved.  I even lost sleep over her!  I allowed a piece of my power, my energy to be zapped.  I was miserable on those days.  It took me several months, but I finally realized that I wasn’t practicing my own theory.

SO I wrapped my head around the fact that she was here to stay and said to myself “get a grip.”  I took the time to write out 10 things, 10 positive things that I thought were good attributes of hers.  Seriously, I didn’t give in too much.  Just a sliver of sunshine, very basic “compliments” if you will.  What I found at the end of the 40 second experiment was a new way to look at her and feel better about my experiences with her.  I am not exaggerating.  It helped me to see her with compassion.  I started understanding why she acted the way that she did.  I felt somewhat sorry for her and BINGO!  My anger, dislike, impatience, nervous energy toward this woman vanished! I didn’t need my protective armor any longer.  Months of stress evaporated. Hocus Pocus? I think not. I just made a choice.

Which choice are you going to make?

 

About The Author

Pamella Horton

As a child, Pamella Horton was a quiet observer who learned in her formative years how to protect her then fragile, inner self with perfection, over achievement, defense, deflection, dismissal and disassociation. Today, she is a blessed woman, entrepreneur, dedicated wife, mother, life enthusiast & athlete who has taken her life experiences and repetitive behaviors both healthy and unhealthy to a place of peace and joy.